Economics 101(or less)

 


Tax out of their paycheck.

Say what?  Are you saying our biggest companies in this country, who make the most money, don't pay taxes?  Or practically no Taxes.(According to trickle down Republicans that's the American way.)  OK, but how the hell do they do it? 
Let me simplify and explain one way, which was told to me many years ago, 1974 I think, when I asked Jerry, my best friend and an officer for Reynolds & Company, (which, with progressions, morphed into Morgan Stanley)a simple question. 
"Jerry I just came back from the Bahamas and I have a question for you.  On Bay Street in Nassau there is a small building, it doesn't look much like an office building, and the walls of the outside of the building are covered with lots and lots of official company plaques.  As a matter of fact there are so many of them you can hardly see the walls of the building.  Those plaques show the names of some of our largest well known corporations."


Jerry, "You mean like U.S. Steel?" 
"As I matter of act  I think I did see  a plaque for U.S. Steel."
Jerry, "Look I got some work to do so if you don't interrupt me, I'll explain it to you. But don't interrupt me.  Goes like this, lets say a US corporation sells a $1million dollar shipment of their product out of the country to, say France.  The entire shipment including, shipping, labor, material and all other operating expenses cost them a half million, ($500,000.00).  Even you know if they don't  include the $500.000.00 profit in their income statement, it is not subject to income taxes.  Here is how they can do that because of a page in the tax code that was sponsored by lobbyists..
They form a Bahamian Corporation which becomes a subsidiary they own.  It can be in a building on Bay  Street with their plaque on the outside.  That's the building you saw.  Got it?  Keep quiet.   I'm  in a hurry.  They use this company as their foreign sales agent.  Then they tell the French company, the one they have this deal with, that the deal will be with their sales agent corp., in Nassau.  Next, they sell the shipment to the Bahamian.company who in turn sell it to the foreign buyer in France.  The Nassau company pays $501,000.00 to the parent US company ($1.000.00 taxable profit) for the shipment and they (Nassau) bill and receive $1,000.000.00 from the French buyer. Don't talk..  All the work, shipping,etc.,  occurs as a normal transaction for each company,   Result, the foreign sales agent makes $499,000.00 profit and since Nassau has no income tax." 
"What happens to the money?  The profit?"
"I knew you couldn't keep quiet.  Why do you think some of the biggest banks in the world have branches in Nassau and the Cayman Islands?  The money remains out of the US and if they invest it and earn interest, no taxes are paid on that either.  Until the U.S. company can think of ways to bring it back in without paying U.S. taxes.  Like say borrowing.  If they do that they even have a chance of charging themselves interest which is of course tax deductible. Or their lobbyists can get a bill passed to allow returning the money to the US at some low rate.   Now you can talk, I'm finished, but I do have to go."
"OK goodbye, thank you." 
Its a different story now, much more sophisticated, they now build complete facilities, infrastructure and all, and call them foreign companies, even if they own or control it.  That company,  legally, for U.S. tax purposes, is in a foreign land using much cheaper labor further reducing costs.  It can also lend money to the US company..  As an example you could take an entire business.  Say computer manufacturing.   Sell the whole shebang  to a foreign company and change the name of the product. That should complete the picture.  Now it looks like a product produced in the foreign country, say China, Korea, or India, which it is. But when it happened before it was recognized as a U.S. company. 
So that's the story of what businesses in this country are doing and where its  headed.  Are they creating more jobs here?.  No. Well a few new jobs, yes but all plant workers are in the foreign country..  More lobbyists are used to help stop regulations from stopping them and also to put new pages in the tax code.   All with the full cooperation and endorsement of  politicians who tell you how much they love the U.S.
P.S.  Today its much simpler. Building new factories and superstructure in foreign countries with money 'earned' in the good old US makes good business sense.  Patriotism? Just a word.

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What ???

 

Honey bee.

Scientists in the United Kingdom, searching for new ways to detect  bomb  making materials, came up with a great detection device.  Its used when searching local storage facilities or suspicious shipments from out of the country.  A new UK funded company, Insentinel, discovered how to sensitize the tongue (proboscis) of honeybees.  This is what the  honeybees use to gather honey.  When sensitized, the bees associate the scent of various explosive compounds with food.  And it only takes minutes to sensitive the bees.  After that they can detect scents with part-per-trillion sensitivity.


Using a hand-held infrared device with the latest technology, including a light emitting diode (LED), the device shoots out an IR beam (like the TV remote).  If the IR beam causes 17 or more bees, from a team of 36 bees, to stick out their tongues at the same time, an alarm goes off.  In British tests the device is much superior to present methods of bomb detection. 

I guess the bees go back to the hive at the end of a day's work.  And one assumes they get plenty of time for gathering honey and other bee activities.

This has me wondering if some of that sensitizing stuff hasn't rubbed of on me because every tine I hear some politician spewing horse poop I want to stick my tongue out and give them a razz-berry.

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AT&T

                                          

"Phone rings.  "Good morning is this Mr.Kaufman?"

Yes, it is."

"This is a customer satisfaction call from AT&T.  is there something you can call our attention to to improve our service to you?"

"Are you serious?"

"Yes,  this is not a sales call.  Mr. Kaufman, we are compiling a list of things we can do to make our customers more satisfied with our service."
"Well, can I explain why I have a gripe and how I think it developed?"
"Yes.
"But, it may take a couple of minutes." 
"Of course Mr Kaufman, that's why I'm calling." 

"OK.  I know how hard AT&T works to improve their bottom line and including now when times are  very difficult.  So . . . .I can imagine the boardroom and  I can just hear the executive explaining his suggestion, "Charge card companies, banks and others who bill customers on a regular basis started charging late fees some years ago, seemingly without regard to the amount due and  if the fees were
considered interest charges, they would be very high indeed,  And not only that, in addition they would still charge the interest because it was two different charges. The point being, they have been doing this for so long now, complaints are now down to an ignorable range.  So I prepared this graph which shows the following.  Every month we have tens of thousands of customers who pay late.   If we would charge them a late fee of say $5.00 I don't think there would much resistance and if you times the amount of late payers by the fee and then times that by twelve months and then deduct the amount for a small number of lost customers . . . . I think you can see, happy stockholders."

"Mr. Kaufman . . ."
"Wait, please . . . for me personally I am investigating changing to another carrier because in my case I have 2 lines and recently you began sending me 2 separate bills.  Which means, when I came back from a trip to Atlanta and the bill came due while I was away, I was charged 2 late fees.  So I'm investigating changing to another company.  I will be comparing   DSL speed, fees charged for being late, both lines on one bill, and the monthly charges."
"Mr. Kaufman why don't you pay on-line? It will be so convenient and no more fees?"



"As a matter of fact I am going to put it on my American Express Card, but I'm not putting it on the for that reason.  I'm irritated at what they are doing to customers like and I know American Express charges AT&T a collection fee, which, by the way, you don't offer to me if I pay on time.   And, AMEX gives prize points that I can use to get gadgets from their catalog which may include can openers.  I just broke my old, favorite, reliable, can opener.  Thinking of AT&T  buying me a new can opener is making me smile."

I already have enough points for a can opener and because the  young lady was so nice (an excellent hire)  I think I'll take an extra month or so with my investigation.

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Santa

 

Gale, age 7



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Marsha's younger sister Gale, age 8,  who was 4 years younger than Marsha,  ran up to me as I got out of my car; "Daddy, daddy",
I could see deep concern in her eyes.
"What is it honey?"
Verna said there is no Santa Clause.
So, I got back into the car with Gale and explained.
Tears were rolling down that beautiful face and she said,
"Does Marsha know?"

Golf (Or politics?)

I was an officer of the local Miami Beach golf club, then Bayshore,  and I was late to the regular monthly meeting.  When I arrived I hear Hal Hertz say, "and so we will have to pay a 50% increase in the annual fee because its already in the proposed budget that way."  Everyone was groaning when I raised my hand. 

"How did they reach the amount from members in the proposed budget ?".  Hal says.

"They increased the fee by 50% and multiplied it by the number of members."

"What happens if we get one less than the current membership?  How do they make the loss up?"

Hertz, "It comes out of the general fund."

"Oh good.  Its simple then, no problem. We tell them we are going to have 50% more members.  We multiply the present fee by the anticipated  number of members for the coming year and the proposed budget figure will come out to the same number they have now.  If we don't get that many members, the shortfall comes out of the general fund."  The members thought this was a good idea, so we voted and next year's fee remained the same.
A year or two later, when I became president, and with me presiding at a board meeting,Hal makes a motion that we increase the family membership fees.  Everyone on the board had a single membership and after discussion it appeared it was going to be passed.  Speaking last, I said I was against it because it would be divisive and we should realize that next year they would want the fees for singles increased and the family members would then be on their side, with justifiable reason.  "And", I added, "I am going to post the minutes of this meeting on the men's and lady's bulletin boards stating the motion was made by Hal and seconded by . . . . ",    Hal raised his hand and withdrew the motion.

From left-Lenny Weinstien, Murray Sheldon, 
JudgeJerry Klein, Mayor Harold Rosen, HGK

When I was Tournament Director, Murray Sheldon, playing in a tournament, came off the 18th green and emphatically asked me how the hell did his opponent get such a ridiculous handicap.  It was easily 6 or 7 strokes too high, he said.  So later I posted the opponent's name as the winner of their  quarterfinal match.  When Murray saw the draw sheet he said,  "What's the hell is matter with you?  Why isn't my name up there.  I won that match."

Jitterbug

 

During the summer when I was a kid in Philadelphia, you could rent a street for the purpose of having a private street block party.  A promoter rented a street from the city close to where I lived. And then he rented out space on the street for stands, to sell  hot dogs, or spin-the-wheel games or whatever, and at the end of the row of stands, on the street, was a jukebox,  So you could dance right there in the street to swing music. Just put a coin in the jukebox and select your song. 
You couldn't help seeing this young teenager with her long pony tail and swinging rump, gyrating to music by Benny Goodman, or Glenn Miller, or Tommy Dorsey, or Jimmy Dorsey, or Woody Herman, etc.  



Rae,WOW!!

I didn't know Rae at the time but I think I was smitten.
Some years later I was in the corner drug store where I used the pay telephones to make my bets on sports games.   I overheard someone say Jake was going to ask this 'still a teenager' (Rae) for a date. I did not care for Jake.  I used a term then, as I do now for guys like him, ***hole.  And when I found out the teenager was Rae, it really bugged me.

The father of a good friend of mine, Alan, was the box office manager at the Schubert Theater on Broad Street, in Philadelphia.  It was our best local theater.  So I asked Mr. Franks if he could get me some tickets to the show in his theater.  As it happened the show was in the last two weeks on the road, before opening on Broadway.  Ethel Merman, the biggest musical comedy star of the time, was in it, it had  rave, smash hit reviews and it was sold out for almost two years in New York.  And I got 4 tickets.  Then I called and asked Rae a question she couldn't refuse,
"Did she want to go to the show?"   (Guys and Dolls) 

We had never met but she knew who I was,  And I had dated Bernice Polish, a good friend of her older sister.  God knows  how I got passed Bernice's review, but the date was made.

The ultimate result; I found out the meaning of ,

"Happily Ever After".

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Beginning of happily ever after.(HEA)

Rae & Howard

Rae and I were  married on the second floor of Lew Tendler's (the boxing champion) restaurant on Broad Street.  A popular Philadelphia bar and restaurant  that didn't usually host weddings.  The Chupa  was a tablecloth stretched over 4 standing upright coat  hangers, one underneath each corner of the tablecloth.  Until I went to the wedding of Ross Dubins and his beautiful bride Veronica, with Rabbi Abromowitz's outstanding Service, I always considered my wedding the finest, most unique possible.

Sam 'Cappy' Hoffman

Our biggest wedding gift, $200.00, came from Sam 'Cappy' Hoffman.   Cappy was known as an underworld boss, under Nucky Johnson the political leader of Atlantic City.  One time Cappy got arrested in Philadelphia and was put on trial by a DA who was enjoying the publicity because it helped his political career.  The judge told the jury, "there is not enough evidence on any of the charges, except, maybe one, so you only have to find on that one charge."   Cappy was so notorious the jury found him guilty on all charges.  When he was put on probation he used his brother's butcher shop on 60th street in W. Philadelphia as his place of employment.  Rae was a teenage school girl at the time but she was also cooking for the family and she shopped for meat at Hoffman's Butcher Shop.  Cappy was there for many months, sitting on a chair on the customer's side, where the only work he ever did was chat with the customers.  Rae got to know him, but only as the younger brother of the butcher shop's owner.
Cappy also knew me because I did a favor for a good friend of his.  And then he did one for me when a bookmaker tried to renege on one of my rare winning baseball parlay bets.  Cappy heard about it and told  Gimpy,  who had collected my winnings from my bookmaker, "Pay the kid his money!"  Once, when some friends and I were going to a Phillies' baseball game, Gimpy asked if he could go in the car with us.  We said ok and while we were in a line for tickets a cop came over, pulled gimpy out of the line, and said, "Gimpy!  Where the hell do you think you're going?"  The cops knew him,  He had a record as a pickpocket and was banned from attending public events.
Benny Street, until he moved to Miami Beach, lived in Philadelphia.  He  had interests in hotels on Miami Beach and was one of Cappy's friends. I knew Benny's son, Harlan.   Harlan went to UM and became a lawyer with offices on Miami Beach.  When we got married it was off season and Benny got us 2 weeks, at the price for 1 week, at the Sands Hotel, 16th and Collins Avenue, on the ocean in Miami Beach.
While driving down we stopped to eat at a  restaurant in Georgia and after sitting without getting served for about 15 minutes Rae went into the restroom. A waitress followed her in, came out and told the other waiters it was just a tan.  We got good service after that but the food wasn't worth the wait.
Miami Beach, what can I say?   Restaurants like Joe's, Walter Kaplan's Embers, first time we ever saw a glass covered cart, filled with mouth watering desserts, brought right to your table.  Then there was Sonny's  Pizza and great Chinese restaurants.  And the weather. And the ocean.  But mostly, it was the weather.  But it could rain, pouring like hell for 10 or 15 minutes, and then the sun came out with no clouds anywhere.  Until 20 minutes later.  Rae and I would dash to take the elevator to our room.   The first time it happened there were a few people waiting at the elevator and I said, so they could hear, "I'm tired of playing gin.  How bout if I teach you how to play pinochle?"  And Rae was Rae. She gave me a good pinch and I said, "ok, ok, stop that.  How bout bridge?"  I'm not telling you what she answered,  but when we got to the room I never taught her either one nor did I say anything like that again during the rest of our honeymoon..
On the 1,100 mile drive home the brakes of the car  broke down, just south of Washington, D.C.  Our entire family bankroll was in my pocket, $35.00.  It was enough to fix the car, fill up with gas, and when we got home, I still had almost $5.00.  And then, much later, at the end of the fifties, we made Miami Beach our home.

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Hey You !! Pee in a bottle





Gov. Rock Scott

Politically savvy business people find it easy to make money.. Just find a way to suck it from the government.  If this means a program developed by the government to help people, the very programs they fought against, exceeds its budget, so what?  So what? These programs mostly just help people who need help.  And I find it quite natural the governor would be opposed to regulations.. His company violated a few when he was head honcho.  Can you believe his company had to use 1½ billion of the dollars they had fraudulently collected from Medicare and Medicaid to pay the fines they were penalized for committing the fraud.  And with the rules so lax, the governor should be ashamed of himself.  I mean about getting caught.   But making money that way, if you can sleep with it, can help you have enough money to run for political office. Right, gov?
Hmmm trivia .....How rich would the governor of Florida be, if there was no Medicare or Medicaid?   One could assume he would have founded a similar company to suck from another Federal  program designed to help people who need help.  My moneys' on the gov.  Hey gov, do you see the potential?  You can start  a new educational institute as an opportunity to make money from the new federal programs, designed to help returning vets advance their education.  Piece of cake. 
In other words the people who make it necessary to have rules protecting  taxpayer’s money, are also the ones who are against any regulations.  That makes sense.  And it also makes sense to take the 5^th to protect yourself from the possibility of going to the slammer.   Its hard to run for political office if you're in jail.   I bet when  the Grand Jury was questioning the gov about  breaking laws, if they had also asked him to pee into a bottle he would have taken the 5th for the 76th time. 

I flew in a  2 seater, 2 seats in a row under a canopy, single wing  airplane.  If you had to go, you used what was called a pilot's relief tube. Its a funnel on the end of a tube which guides the pee out of the plane through the tube.  It ends sticking out at the bottom of the fuselage of the plane..  In those day if you were walking sown the street and you felt something like drizzle, it might  not have been rain.  But that's about all I knew about peeing into bottles until I aged a little.. When I heard he wanted people, some of whom voted for him, to pee into bottles, it bothered me.
I thought, "Women too?"
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