More lube needed!

 

I got my mobile phone bill today and it made me reach for my lube tube.

A few months ago I cancelled a mobile phone extra service charge that was on my monthly bill.  This should have reduced my monthly bill to $78.35.  Then my new bill came and it was for $99.75.  Because it says, if you can find where to look for it, it includes a ‘one time' charge of 21.40.  If you read the bill, the damn thing  says the charge is for 'discontinuing the service' and that the charge for the service included insurance in case I lost the gadget.  What???  At decision time for that service I thought the cost was a little excessive but I took it anyway.  Months later I find out if I lose the thing there’s a $150.00 deductible for a replacement.  What the hell is going on here?  Maybe they found out I listen to Fox News every once in a while.  You know, to get the sound bite of the day.  Do you think that's a good reason all this stuff is happening?  Did I make some kind of listener list?  I know Fox tells their listeners how to think, but not me.

 

Also spelled 'Stuff'

In the old days if your were late paying a bill you could just hide until you came up with the money.  Back when you could always find a pay phone.  People were so busy working they didn't have much time for phone gossip.  And the electric bill was a pittance.  Not like today. Today you need electricity to warm you, cool you, keep your gadgets charged, keep your food cold, keep your food hot, use it for your connection to the tv and the internet and all kinds of other things including shaving your legs.. We are all out of luck during hurricanes though.
But the biggest 'stuff' affecting bills today, is executive bonuses.  Today executives who make bonuses get a lot of their bonus money for figuring out stuff like screwing their customers.  They always charged interest for being late but now they have added a late fee which is just exorbitant interest camouflaged as a 'late fee'.  Guess who figured  out all of this 'stuff''.  Doesn't anybody realize the real reason for paying a bill late?  It's because you don't have money to pay the thing early.   And then, if they increase the amount owed, paying it is harder.  Where are they going with all this 'stuff'? 
When Charles Dickens was writing all those stories about mistreating kids and people who couldn't pay their bills, the actual people in the stories  lived in what was a debtors prison.  Mothers, fathers, whole families lived in prison.  That's what this 'stuff' reminds me of.  And you know what eventually happened to them? Everybody who couldn't  pay their bills became a felon.  They had so many criminals there wasn't enough jails. So they put the 'didn't-pay-your-bill' criminals on boats with real criminals and shipped the whole shebang to Australia. Yes , that's how they colonized  Australia.  Christopher Columbus was busy. Just thinking about that makes me seasick.  A Months long trip on the ocean and later, when they got there, they treated the aborigines like we treated  our Indians.  So, no matter who you are  you have to be careful.  You have to  watch out.  

If I take the night job . . .

If phone bills don't get paid, they will surely turn the damn thing off.  Zzzap!!! And worse, they will turn your internet off.  This is the worst because they also added another fee (to turn the internet back on) which is just another way of raising your need for a  lube tube.   They call this one a reconnection fee.  And it boils me when they look for the best football game or basketball game to turn the service off in the middle of.  That's diabolical.  These bonus people are really creative.  Put ways to make bonus money in front of them and anything can happen. 
And it seems like they always had a procedure to put 'stuff' on the bill that is hard to understand.  Like my one time charge or the AT&T bill.  I have never been able to figure out my AT&T bill.

Stop that.

And now the State of Florida can and does suspend your driving license if you don't pay certain bills.   So, you know what happens?  Right?  You get stopped because an officer wants to notify you the flap cover on you gas tank was not closed properly and it is sticking out.  If he checks you out, for whatever reason, your a goner.  Driving without a valid license makes you a felon, a natural enemy of the police.  He takes your license away from you and gives you a ticket for driving without a license. What the hell?  This is big lube tube stuff, underwear soiling lube stuff, and you ain't even home yet. 
So somehow you go home and of course you have to drive carefully.  You don't want to get stopped for jumping any traffic lights, or driving faster than 10 miles over the speed limit.  Impossible not to do stuff.  But, if you do get home, and the power is still on, and there is one beer left, it can cool you down a bit.  But the State is getting ready for you.  They are hearing ideas and plans which are coming from smooth talking lobbyists for private companies who's business is; building jails. 
I mean you are in big trouble.  Periodically you may have to go to court, where the judge adds penalties to the amount you owe for not paying up.  You can get  jail time just for not paying, like in olde England.  I'm  not researching this 'stuff' so it could be even  worse . . . .And your relatives and your friends, they stop taking phone calls from you . . . this is so much lube stuff you're gonna need more Clorox to wash your under shorts. 

What's the upshot?  For me?  I decided to pay the $20.40.

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