TOP TEN Lawyer Joke

Just south of Miami a guy is hitchhiking. He's on Rt. #1, the straightaway to Key West.  Its July.  Its hot as hell and nobody is stopping.
After a while, he thinks he has to change, try something new, so  he turns his collar around  and holds up a poster sign that says "Clergy". . . .Nobody stops.
So, he changes the sign again, holds it up, it says, 'Physician"  Nobody even close to stopping.  Sweat is running all over him, the signs are going no where, he wants to give up. Find some shade. But the memory of his last visit to Key West prevails. He makes a new sign, holds it up, it says,  'Attorney' . . . . .


He sees a brand new 2015, red Mercedes convertible, its top is down, and a beautiful blond is driving.  It passes by him.  But then the rear brake lights go on, and the car stops.  He runs over. He opens the door and sees this vision, what a beautiful young lady? With cleavage, like in a well filled sexy bathing suit. And with her skirt, way up high, showing gorgeous legs right  up to her bod. She looks over at  him and she says,

"Hey, . . . . . .you look pretty young . . . .
How long have you been a lawyer, anyway?"
He gets in the car. With gawking eyes staring at her, and he says,  "Only five minutes and already I want to screw somebody."

Please 'CLICK' here;  hgknews then register your reaction
(And you can make a comment too, if you know how.)

Trump vs Coking . . . ('Hair' Overmatched)

Vera's 3 story Bldg. & Trump Plaza

This is a story about Donald Trump, who now wants to be president, but it starts with the story of gambling in Atlantic city.
The combination of gamblers, suckers, and the prospect of making mucho money was just to much for the bosses in New Jersey, to resist.  So when politicians put casino gambling for Atlantic City on the ballot in New Jersey, one of the hottest spots to corral campaign volunteers, was a practically new high-rise building near the boardwalk in Ventnor.  A city that abuts Atlantic City.  The high-rise building was the residence of senior citizens, who are high percentage voters, and many of its residents, who had fought hard to promote Affordable Housing for Seniors near the beach and boardwalk, they lived there, in this new hi- rise building.  They fought that struggle and they won ..  Now, the politicians swarmed all over the place like locusts.  They came in with all kinds of fresh danish and coffee sit downs. They came in with coffee klatches, they came in with  promises, and, well . . . what do you want to hear from a politician?  That time period, the time just before the election for gambling , it was lively and life was fun.  It was an enjoyable time to be a senior citizen in Atlantic City.  Hatchets were buried, new friends were made, and . . . . you had to be there.  The excitement of the election itself, the free stuff, bubbly too, the singing and the dancing on the boardwalk,  and the sheer joy  . . . . Especially after the election was over.  The boardwalk.  People locked arm in arm in arm. Singing, dancing, " We won!! We won!!  We won!!"  Oh my, oh my . . . all over the place. You could not escape the frivolity (I think that's the right word). Boy oh boy. Life was good.



Like most of our elections, this one was held on a Tuesday. 

The election is over, its not much more than 3 weeks later, when a senior lady resident of the Ventnor high-rise comes into the lobby with tears in her eyes.  Her lease is up 2 months following next month and the letter she was waving, it was her 30 day notice.  It told her, her lease would not be renewed. 

I don't like maudlin stuff so, if you are reading this, I won't bore you with lies poop, or true poop, or condo conversions,  or stories about 'politicians trying to get richer', lets just fast forward to the glitz making of Atlantic City, and the changing face of the Boardwalk . . .

The gold rush is on, hotels and motels have been built and new ones are starting all over the  place.  The 'White House Sub Shop' is flourishing and so  much money is being made that Trump has one of his strokes of genius.  He will build a Trump Plaza Hotel in Atlantic City.  He's more than a little late but with such a super famous name, surely it will attract the tourists away from the other casino places . . . . ..

His real-estate acquisition agent suggests a particular property.  It was not the best site.  The best sites brought fantastic prices and were already sold.  His site was not as big as he would have liked, but that will help him get it at a lower price.  And there is a  property next to the site, a 3 story apartment building that the owners of the hotel site (2 good friends of my friend Jerry) who sold the property to Trump, had tried  to buy.  It was perfect for additional on-site parking.  And after all, who could resist the Trump charm.   Certainly not the owner, a littlish old lady, he'll buy that property too.  Piece of cake.

All this is not new news. The lady, Vera Coking, became a local legend, folklore stuff.  One of the mildest things the 70 year old said about Trump, "If he's waiting for me to die, he has a long wait."   She did not like the Donald or the methods he used trying to buy her property. She did not like that thing that sits on his head, or anything else named Trump. Time passed.  She became like a senior rock star in Atlantic City..  And, as I said, in an earlier post, "Trump in charge of a gambling casino?  No way.  Gambling interests know their business and they are brutal when it comes to 'in fighting'.  Up against them, he is a pussy.  He was in over his head."  At the time of the opening of Trump Plaza my friend Jerry was there.  He attended opening nite and he received what he considered one of his highest compliments ever.  They threw him out.  He was ushered out of the casino, with some modest winnings, and told to never co-me back because they had his picture and he was not welcome at Trump Plaza.  "They think I'm a card counter", he said with what could only be described as 'glee'. 

Its a bird. Its a plane. Its The Donald's hair!!

I cant help it.  Right now I'm laughing.  Every time I think of it, I'm laughing.  Tears literally come into my eyes.  His phone call to me, I lived in Ohio at the time, about being tossed out of Trump Plaza, is such a wonderful memory.  Jerry was such a gambling loser (sucker) that when he told one of the hotel owners of the casino where he did his gambling,  that his friend (meaning me) was coming for a  visit with him for a week or so, they sent one of their limos to the airport to get me and my lovely wife Rae. The airport is in Philadelphia.  Only sixty (60) miles away.  That's 120 miles both ways. They also used one of their limos to take us back to the Philadelphia airport 10 days later,when we went back to Florida.  Jerry had told them I gambled too, more magic  words, and everything, hotel rooms, free dining in one of Atlantic City's finest restaurants, etc. became 'on the house'.  It may be my imagination but it seems to me that if you're the beneficiary of such largess, having fun is much more enjoyable.

Getting back to Vera and the underside of the birds-nest.  What we are dealing with here is the ultimate test of raw power.  Bristling little old lady VS 'proud to be a mogul' guy with extraordinary hair, giant ego, very ambitious and with very 'green' political connections .....

Remember, this is really happened stuff.  By the time Trump agreed to  a price acceptable to Vera his tactics had irritated Vera to the point she told him, 'its not for sale at any price'. Sounds like a movie. 
But, talk about power, the city filed to take Vera's property away from her, by 'Eminent Domain'.  (A legal land grab  tactic to be used only in matters verifiably 'for the good of the community'.)   Get  the hell out of here!!! 
But I'm not impressed with this display of Trump's power or connections.  After all it is Atlantic City which is in New Jersey.  Doing  stuff like that  in New Jersey is practically legal.  I'm sure Trump, with his money, thought it was automatic.  But, even if it was legal (turned out it wasn't) or automatic, that didn't stop it from being disgusting.  And evidently it didn't pass muster with others because Vera pulled another rabbit out of her hat and prevailed.  Figure this one out, even in a 'piece of cake' like this, Trump came out second. Parking at Trump Plaza remained a problem.

Vera told friends she had considered selling a coupla times but Trump  rubbed her the wrong way and she would not sell to him.  She said the Donald 'was a maggot, a cockroach, and a crumb,' in that order.  I disagree, calling Trump a crumb, that's a little much. 

But everything changes and today, gambling in New Jersey is in a different situation.  Both  New York and Pennsylvania, each now have legalized gambling.  The high rollers from these states, who all went to the Las Vegas of the east, come less often.  Some stopped coming altogether.  As for Trump Plaza, it was not around for the early prosperity like the other hotels, and it is slated to close in September . (It closed 09/2014) The hotel closed without a larger parking lot.  Trump is a genius???  He's a loser. He doesn't even know where our president was born.  Cmon.  That GOP sound bite that was created just to make sure that racists and haters  voted.  You know how they do on Fox News.  But Trump, he says he still believes it.. 

Here is what I think about Donald Trump.  I can't explain Ivanna his first wife. lovely lady.  Except she met him when he was young, you know, when he still had his first hair.  But all the other good looking babes, who came afterwards, who are drawn to him by the aura of money, or getting on TV shows, they must be afraid to tell him what they really think about that bird's nest.  I bet he wears that thing to bed. I really think he does. 

And, I also think that the line, the one the witch used in the Disney film, is the same as what the Donald says to his mirror, with 'fake hair jelly' in his  hand,  before he gets into bed.  If memory serves me  . . It goes something like, "Mirror, mirror on the wall, tell me,  who is the fairest one of all?"

Please register a reaction by checking a box below. And if you know how, you can make a comment. Use your face-book or twitter signature.