Grandfather:

Grandfather got mugged.  He was minding his own business walking on the sidewalk when someone tripped him, and knocked him to the ground.   While he was still on the ground a policeman came up and asked what happened. He told him some kid knocked him down and stole his wallet with 4 dollars in it.  Outside of a little scratch on his  hand, he was ok.

About 2 weeks later he was called to the station where he said, "that’s him, the little goniff, that’s him, he stole my wallet."  They showed  him a wallet, he said, "Yes its my wallet.  Where’s my 4 dollars? " The policeman said the kid’s name is Shissler and he says he found it without any money in it. The case is set for trial and it turns out Shissler's brother is a friend of my father.  Shissler's family begs my father to talk to his father, promising they will give him the 4 dollars and they will punish the  kid. 

Case comes up, grandfather is on the stand, the Judge tells the kid to stand up, and he asks, my granddad,  Is that the kid who knocked you down and robbed you?" 
Grandfather says, . .  "Well . . . . it looks like him but . . . . it could be him but . . . . maybe the kid was a little bigger or even a little smaller."

The judge asks, "Are you saying you’re not sure this is the one who did it?" 

"Well . . . . he does look like him." 

Bam!!  The judge slams the gavel, says a few words including . . "Case dismissed." 
With that, grandfather starts to get up from the witness chair, and he starts wagging his finger furiously at the kid, and shouting at him in a very loud voice,
“SHISSLER, you shouldn’t do it again.”

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