More nurses

No cell phones yet.

Some years ago, before the newer procedures used in preparing for a colonoscopy, you first had to take some barium, what ever the hell that is, but I think it was necessary for better 'picture' definition of the resulting xray.  So now  I am laying on a narrow table on wheels and almost completely ready to take the x-ray.  The nurse had me change to hospital type garb and put in something, some place, preparation stuff,  when the phone rang.  She answered and started a conversation which I could hear her side of.  It was a rather personal call, it got her undivided attention and seemed to be headed for a long, long discussion.
I am still laying on this narrow table waiting to be pushed into position for the x-ray.  I raised my left arm and started wagging my left hand  furiously.  It broke the spell and she said into the phone, just a minute, looked over at me and asked, "What is it?"
And I asked, "Has anyone ever had an accident while having this kind of examination?" 
"OMG!!"  She said into the phone, "Call me back later", jumped out of the chair, gave me the remainder of whatever, waited a moment and pushed the table, and me, under the expensive looking technological gadget and took the picture.  All in less than three minutes.
I did  not crack a smile, changed to my outside clothes and went home.

Page two:


I was taking a Tagement pill every day for my stomach condition.  When I started each pill cost $.60 but now they were $.80 each, after a $.70 hiccup.  That's $24.00 a bottle. (Not so much by today's standards)  I read a medical article that said Tagement was the biggest seller in the world and grossed something like $2 billion a year.  The same article mentioned a new drug coming on the market that should replace Tagement, the name, Zantac. When It did, I thought, serves them right.
In the meantime while visiting my doctor, he  suggests I should have an examination to check for stomach ulcers. So on the appointed day I go to the appointed  place where the receptionist sends me into a very small room to remove my clothes and put on this gown like thing, backwards.(made out of cheesecloth?)  I kind of sheepishly come out of the 'change cubbyhole' and the young lady points to another door and says, "there is a table in there, lay down on the table, the nurse will be in shortly."  

I go in and yep, there it is, another narrow table where, after I lay down, I always feel as if any moment I will be on the floor.  I see a pillow in a corner, take it, get on the table and lay down with the pillow doubled under my head.  . . . . . . . . A shapely nurse comes in and walks over to a desk with a chart on it.  She picks it up and starts reading.



Sit-com stuff.

I get into a sitting position and quickly look over my right shoulder and then I look quickly to the left and then back quickly to the right, getting her attention, and she says, "What are you doing?" 
I say I'm looking for the cameras.  She says, "Cameras? What cameras?"
I say,  Cm' on.  This is a commercial isn't it?  We're making a commercial aren't we?    You're much too pretty to be just a nurse. You just cant be the nurse. You must be an actress.  When do we start rolling?" . . . .
Now, how do you think that exam went?


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