LaPierre & Loonies

When I was a kid I had a friend, Irv Mamet, who could make musical sounds using his mouth.  He could do riffs with the best of them.  He could imitate a saxophone and do riffs like Ella Fitzgerald did in a song or, he would pick up odd implements, like sticks from trees and then use them as drumsticks.  He could not only do drum rolls he could beat out amazing para-diddles. 
Trouble was, while he wasn't doing stuff like that he would be patting you on your arms or other parts and mumbling and he was always kidding around in a nutty way..  One day he got talking to a couple of guys and he called me over and said to me, "Howard you know I'm not nuts, will you tell these guys I'm not crazy."  Afterwards, I took him aside, and

Twas the day after Santa,  not a bad guy in site,
the presents were opened and the smiles were bright.

here's what I said to him, "Wait a minute Irv.  Let me ask you a question.  Don't you fool around most of the time??  He says, " Yes ,that's my point.  You know I'm just fooling around."  Ok, I answered, but don't you do it, like more than 50% of the time.?"
"Well, yeah, I guess so."
"Well Irv, then I'm afraid that if you are acting nuts more than 50% of the time then even if  you are not nuts, you qualify for being called  nuts" 
But wait a minute, lets make sure we all know what we are doing before we label him unqualified for a gun license. . . . . When I was younger and when things were getting a little hairy and I needed someone intelligent to talk to,  I started talking to myself.  I mean after all its not easy to find an intelligent ear.  And I do have 2 of those..  Specifically, this happened mostly when I was alone in my car.  I found it an easy way to think and started including the Man Upstairs in the conversation. You know, when sorting things out became difficult.  Between us we could solve almost anything.    
However, when I stopped at a stoplight and if you drove up beside me, you might think, 'look at that loony talking to himself'.' The Man Upstairs,  He  fixed it.  He found a little company making a little gadget, you could hold it in your hand, it played lots of songs. and then He steered this guy Jobs, who was running Apple,  to buy this little company and show the gadget to the world.   Anyway the next thing you know a lot of kids are carrying one around and listening to music.   And if you used an ear plug you could put the gadget on your arm or in your pocket. You could listen to music while you were exercising, like running, or riding a bike.  Wow!
I know you know this stuff but here is the thing, I consider the ipod the greatest invention since someone thought of sleeping on an air mattress instead of the ground, when you were out camping.  Just blow it up. Amazing.  Only trouble was, the gadgets were expensive.
But, now what happened is this.  A 'Job' like case of entrepreneurialism hit me like a bolt.  I went out and bought a set  of headphones for an ipod,   No ipod, too much money, just the earphones.  It had wires running from your ears to; your gadget?
So now, when  you pull up beside me, there I am with an earphone in my ear and a colorful wire hanging down, and you think, 'there goes another music lover, singing along.  I wonder who he's listening to?
But I'm not listening to anybody.  I'm talking to myself, or the Man Upstairs.  The other end of the headphone wire is in my pocket or hanging loose.  Brilliant.  No way I will loose my qualification for a gun license.  And today, if I'm talking to the Man Upstairs and  driving, nobody pays any attention.

Newest NRA member

But talking about loonies, the real, real looney out there is this guy who has engineered a take- over of the leadership of the NRA,   I don't think he could get the NRA presidency on a real membership vote, because anybody can see he's, like I said,  a looney.  At first I thought he was just doing this stuff for the money.  (Which he is)  but like Irv, this guy is behaving like a looney way more than 50% of the time.  So I think that's the real reason he's against background checks.  He doesn't want to get found out officially.  I mean this guy can't have all his marbles.  You can't say the stuff he says and qualify for a gun license.  In other words, he's protecting himself from loosing his license to carry a gun, because he thinks a background check on  him will out him as a nut.  Now how is that going to look?

.....Good guy? . . .Or. bad guy? .

One example.  Examine his advice on getting the bad guys. He says, "The only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is, with a good with a gun."  I think this qualifies him for a stay behind an iron fence.  I mean lets take two of his friends.  Like the guy in the picture.  If they are friends of his they are considered good guys.  Right?  And of course they have guns?  Right?  Instantly ready to stop any bad guy.  Right?  But suppose they get into an argument themselves.  And it gets to the 'Stand your ground' stage.  Either one can whip out a gun lickety split.  So the other guy has to defend himself and before you know it . . ..  .  BOOM!  
So, here is the difficult question..  . Is the dead guy a good guy or a bad guy?  And how bout the guy who is left over?  What the hell?  What a mess.  And all because of this LaPierre guy.   He don't need that license as much as we need to put him in a cage.

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